FRANK’S ACME CHEESE COMPANY

 

(On a cold afternoon Frank Reclines on his couch, and slips into a deep, deep sleep. After consuming too many fig bars hours before his nap, Frank finds himself wrestling for his life in a huge vat of processed cheese. His frantic struggle in the nightmare finds the reclusive boss consuming large quantities of a new kind of cheese branded as “New Jack Organic Cheese.” After wrestling for his life from the goons who were revealed to Frank as “cheese heads” he suddenly wakens out of his nightmare stupor with a new plan for power and control…)

 FRANK: Dino, a few days ago I had a nightmare, through which a great idea was revealed. My revelation came to me through “flesh and blood” on how we can control the pigeons and takeover the big headquarters. You might say “I was caught down into the third hell.”

 DINO: Wow! What kind of revelation would come to you in “flesh-and-blood” like that Frank?

 FRANK: Here it is Dino—we are going to take our “cheese for chicken program” and turn it into the ACME Cheese Company. No one else knows cheese like us. That’s our mission statement by the way. I got the catch phrase from Dr. Icanstein. We’re going “legit” Dino.

 DINO: But why Frank? Why? Why start a cheese business?

 FRANK: Dino! Focus! Do you need more of my hypnosis therapy! You seem to have a hard time staying on track these days. Do you need some of my special stay-on-track pills?

 DINO: No, no, no don’t clap your hands again Frank. And please Frank, no more of them pills. And I don’t want to go on a journey to the ends of the earth again Frank. It seems as if you are taking over my mind. I can’t think for myself.

 FRANK: (Frank now grabs Dino’s cheeks with both hands and gives him the family kiss of acceptance)

Ok then Dino, here’s my “flesh and blood” business venture:

 Did you know Dino that it is possible that cheese may be one of the best dairy products ever processed? A lot of Americans and other people of this big world love cheese so much that the cheese-making industry has become a big business. Many varieties of cheese grace our taste buds and are stocked on the supermarket shelves, deli and other food places.

 DINO: YEH, YEH, YEHHHH…

 FRANK: You’ll be surprised to know that there’s a thing called “cheese addiction.” Revealed through “flesh and blood” a scientific study conducted in the eighties exposed that traces of “morphine” can be found in milk and dairy products, and the highest among them can be located right in that good, old processed cheese.

 DINO: Did you say…morphine…Frank?

 Frank: You’re finally focusing Dino! The answer is yes! Now you ask – who put the morphine in the cheese? I was knocked off my tail myself by this revelation that came from “flesh and blood.” Follow me on this Dino—the nightmare that so gripped my mind revealed that a specific milk protein called casein is found in cow’s milk. And, this same protein releases opiates when digested, which occurs more in cheese than in any other dairy product—since cheese is a concentrated milk protein after lactose sugar and water are extracted in the cheese-making process. What do you say to that Dino?

 Yes Dino—too much cheese can actually develop into a form of addiction. Dino, DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND where I’m going with this?

 DINO: I’m with you boss, I’m with you.

 Now, we’ll sell our cheese at a low cost and as “their” gesture of appreciation they will buy our product and gladly give us chicken. Before they know it they are hooked for life and we’ll be in complete control with all the power we could ever need.

 Oh, by the way, our brand of cheese is called “New Jack Organic Cheese.” Remember that brand name Dino.” We spare no expense for our customers.

 DINO: Great idea Frank! Can I be your partner in crime?

 FRANK: Slap, slap, slap! Don’t ever use that word around me again. Were not criminals we’re animals. By the way here comes Jerry and his new friend Garfield driving our new ACME Cheese Company truck. What a beauty!

 By the way we tested our “New Jack Organic Cheese” on Garfield. He took one bite and is hooked for life. When I need a favor I get a lot of chicken from him. WE’RE GOING TO SELL A WHOLE LOT OF CHEESE DINO—A WHOLE LOT OF CHEESE!

 DINO: Frank, what are we going to do with Garfield?

 FRANK: Never share the family business with him. When we don’t need him anymore, we’ll get Stinky at A-1 to slip Garfield a “sleeping biscuit.” Dino, you know Stinky owes us all a favor.

 Will the ACME Cheese Company become a successful business venture? Will the pigeons go for the cheese and get hooked? Keep reading and stay tuned.

 *FRANK’S ACHME CHEESE COMPANY is a satire published by the writer of Left Behind, and is not intended maliciously. All names and situations in this story are satirized. All names are a fictional depiction. Any attempt to read anything further into these fictional stories is the readers own self identification and characterization.

Advertisements

About The Forgotten Shepherdess

Follow me on Twitter @ForgttnSheprdss
This entry was posted in Frank Dino and Jerry, Pastoral Advocacy. Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to FRANK’S ACME CHEESE COMPANY

  1. A Green Anonymous Observer says:

    RIP:

    What a provocative assessment of the current situation.

    Why isn’t there any debate between the adiministration and the members in the local churches before these important decisions are made?

    Like

  2. RIP says:

    Hearsay:

    The question concerning the “fools” is a most important one. You see, in this “present governing system” the members are on the bottom of the “food chain.” As one writer best described it somewhere in this blog…the “Fat Cats” are the greedy and the “members” are the needy.

    TRANSLATION!

    The “Fat Cats” at the top are feeding on you and me. GET IT!

    They are after fortune, fame, power and a perverted righteousness.

    You are the “Left Outs” who are not informed about financial matters that can effect your church. BEWARE! When it is too late you will pay…all of us…while they take their “junkets” and continue to get fat on a political diet of perverted righteousness that has little to do with the Kingdom of God.

    I HOPE THE MEMBERS OF THIS CONFERENCE WILL STOP BEING “TOM” AND “JERRY” AND DECLARE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

    Is there an Amen out there?

    Like

  3. Anonymous --Please help! says:

    DEAR BLOGGERS:

    Does anyone know the scoop on the Hispanic Church that has recently defected to independent status and has left the SWRG with a 1.6 million dollar loan?

    What is the monthly repayment of the outstanding loan?

    How will this impact the local field and workers?

    How did this happen?

    What steps has the SWRGC taken to rectify this defection?

    Will the defection of this church and minister start a hispanic conference?

    CAN SOMEONE(S) ANSWER THESE QUESTION FOR THE (MANY) WHO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW?

    CAN WE GET SOME DISCUSSION GOING ON YOUR FEELINGS AND ATTITUDES CONCERNING THIS CHALLENGING ISSUE EFFECTING OUR CONFERENCE?

    Like

    • HERESAY--BUT TRUE says:

      ANNONYMOUS WHO NEEDS HELP:

      i’m glad there might be some dialogue on a very good blog that I really like. DON’T GIVE UP! KEEP THIS GOING.

      Ok here it is . . .

      Yes . . .it is a case of a bad discision! Someone who we trusted in leadership, persuaded the EXCOM, who trusted that someone, who trusted a minister and congregation, who was turned out by the “T” organization, who distrusted their own preacher, whom we took in with trust, who had a scheme in his mind all the time, and then committed the unpardonable sin of the world church, by taking their people out of the sister hood, to develop an independent organization, with the hope of starting a regional conference, with unreasonable demands that no one will accept–DEFECTED; and left us holding the bag of a note costing you, yes you, 1.6 million dollars of your benevolent offerings, by walking away from their begged-for-church building, who are laughing all the way to their next heist, who are calling us all suckers.

      IS THIS PLAIN?

      Like

  4. Anonymous says:

    All I have to say, is “here we go again”. How is it that people really feel uncomfortable talking about issues. And in my hiatus, I see that people are still trying to find out who anonymous bloggers are. (As if in this political climate someone would reveal themselves) When someone tells me to read my bible, I question if they actually are reading theirs. There is a world event that people attend in which they watch these little rodents run off a cliff. It happens every year. As I look into the spectrum, of what we call the SWRC, I have seen for years, the practices of all administrations and leaders, leading the flock over a cliff. Is anyone going to stop the madness? Will someone actually say, ” You know what, running into oblivion is not my choice?

    Jonah_77

    Like

    • BIG TOES AND LITTLE FINGERS says:

      Good to see you back in the conversation Jonah77.

      Yes it is a circus. We are getting a glimpse of the thinking toward the policies of an organization that does not inform their people yet expect great support. And then you have self glorified preachers who get the job of their life but want to remain in their churches. SO SAD. ARE WE SEEING GOOD LEADERSHIP OR BAD LEADERSHIP?

      Oh…Jonah77…can you put an APB out on the forgotten shepherdess…? The PACK IS TRYING TO COME BACK. their New Jack organic, green and molded cheese is everywhere. Frank, Dino and Jerry are at the ACHME warehouse figuring out what’s next and too many preachers who ain’t going no where are feeling LEFT BEHIND.

      We need some more of some of them LEFT BEHIND stories…how’s the ACHME CHEESE COMPANY DOING?

      That brother’s comment on September 3 wasn’t right and he shouldn’t say those words about them preachers. They ain’t got no money. I seen holes in some of their socks. Heaven help em.

      YOU CAN CALL ME BIG TOES BUT SOME CALL ME LITTLE FINGERS

      Like

  5. Anonymous --Please help! says:

    Recently, we have heard about some rumblings at the SWRCG. Can anyone explain why some ministers who have received the assignment of their life as ministerial leader, AV, or in PM can’t make the move to big “D” ?

    Any other minister would have made that move yesterday.

    Please help me understand…

    Like

    • Anonymous says:

      What you need to do is leave other people’s business alone and tend to your own. In this modern technological age those men can stay where they are and carry out the functions required of them. There is no need to come to Dallas. You may not know what a financial and emotional toll it is to uproot family and find new places to live. I know, I know, they knew this when they accepted the call. BS!!!!!! No matter how much you count the cost, there will be unseen cost not previously thought about. Go read your bible and renew your relationship with God. That will help you understand. Stop the messiness..I bet you are one of these sorry messy preachers around here who has nothing to do bu stir up trouble. Hypocrite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

      • STOP THE PAIN says:

        Dear Anonymous:

        Thank you for your comment. BUT WHY SO PERSONAL?

        It has been repeated that our leader said that these churches were open and to be FILLED. So the discussion among clergy centers around WHEN AND WHOM WILL REPLACE THEM.

        You accurately mentioned some of the tension that exist for some who don’t want to move and those who do. Therefore, the question is open territory for discussion.

        As to your other obtuse and queer simpleton remarks and comments-JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED! What makes you a better Christian than someone else? Self Righteousness is an inward disease and disguised deception of perfectionism.

        SDAs live in a governance of closet deals that are made and law dogs exists who pound the ground and stirs a cloud of secrecy which in time causes members to question the actions of our leaders..

        If our conference is in as financially bad shape as you stated why are we then improving the camp ground? …which I am not against when prioritized.

        What resources can cite to back up you claims?

        And do we all have the right to know the facts?

        I would like to hear your thoughts.

        Like

      • Anonymous says:

        I can only be personal if I know you. The improvement on the campground is typical of us, the white sepulchre syndrome. We want people to think we are looking good all the time knowing that things are far from good. The clergy is in the state they are in because they are cowards and have been very selfish. Each one do their own groveling and hope they can brown nose their way into taking care of number one. I have never seen a group of men who act so much like women! This field have emasculated you guys! Such a shame. You are not able to trust each other and you are not willing to lay self on the line. I really can’t speak for God because He did not appoint me into such a role, but my human thinking is of the opinion that He may not be pleased with this conference. I don’t really want to attack anyone, it is just frustrating at times. I want to inherit eternal life so I will just leave the evil to you guys of the cloth.

        Like

      • Anonymous --Please help! says:

        Anonumous:

        Thank you again for your comment! It is ok to say what you feel as long as it is not saturated with evil thinking. I HATE KNOW ONE AND LOVE EVERYBODY AND DESIRE THEIR WELL BEING.

        You made some interesting comments that I do agree with which reflects the thinking of many people. However, every minister …if not the majority of them…are not at all like your depiction. There are coward ministers and coward members who lack the guts to finisth this great work God has given to us.

        Remember, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE–AND NEVER GIVE UP ON GOD!

        God knows that WE are imperfect. So don’t be so pessemistic about things even though much of what you have written has validity.

        Can you think of some suggestions that might be helpful to both members and clergy?

        Please…help me to understand and reflect God’s image.

        KEEP LOOKING FORWARD!

        Like

  6. I WANT YOU BACK! says:

    PLEASE GOLDEN FORGOTTEN SHEPHERDESS…COME BACK! WE NEED YOU! YOU DID A GOOD WORK!

    BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK!BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK! BABY…COME BACK!

    Like

    • Anonymous says:

      @Crystal Clear
      We are no different from the world. It looks like the reason for not ordaning Pastor M. is age discrimination. God will sort it out in the end.

      Like

      • Anonomous says:

        You have answered correctly! But…he chose this path. The choices we make determine the outcome of life. M chose to be a full time professional truck driver and a part-time pastor. He understood the outcome and remained in it until now…facing retirement.

        Like

      • Anonymous says:

        He is not a truck driver and he has not been for several years. Has anyone talk to him? He should be ordain. Will he ever be forgiven for choosing that path? We don’t know the full story of why he chose that route then. You will be blessed if you lead in getting him ordained

        Like

  7. Anonymous says:

    Do you ministers speak up for each other or is it too risky? What about Elder James Merrill? Do you not think you can band together and advocate for him? He has served this conference faithfully for over 20 yrs. Why is he not worthy of ordination? Am in tears. It’s a shame before God and man!

    Like

    • Anonymous says:

      ANONYMOUS:

      He made a decision to be a part-time employee. For him, that was his decision. Has the pastor ever spoken out for other ministers? The over all situation is that the present method toward ordination is controlled by one person at the top–and you know who that is. What you should do is declare who you are and speak for him in this forum OR TALK DIRECTLY TO THE MAN WHO CAN SAY YEA OR NAY.

      STAND YOU GROUND! Don’t blame the preachers–blame him.

      Thanks for sticking by your man…

      Like

      • Anonymous says:

        Part-time does not mean one cannot be ordain, does it? I don’t understand the concept that one person makes the decision for ordination

        Like

      • Anonymous says:

        It is not a matter of sticking by a man, just wondering about the process. Neither am I blaming the ministers:Just wondering if they advocate for each other. How can one man have the power to decide in a democratic system?

        Like

      • CRYSTAL CLEAR says:

        ANONYMOUS:

        I am not scolding you but stating the facts. No part-time employee that I can think of has been ordain. “M” chose to have both worlds–a professional driver and minister. In the Bible there are part-time disciples and full-time. At his age they will have to take him on with full benefits.

        Question: Is he officially an Intern? If so, he is full time and on the path for ordination.

        However, productivity and soul winning mean alot and the ability to be placed somewhere else in the field might be important to administrators.

        I personally think the ordination process sucks. In four years a person should be ordained or told he or she is not ministerial material and should seek employment some other place.

        Oh…yes ministers and administrators stick up for their so called “favorites”. The favorites are pushed from the back of the line to the front.

        Oh…one other thing…money is a factor. Can the local conference afford to ordain everybody at once? No! As interns the GC pay a portion of the their income. When ordained the conference is responsible for %100 of his/her salary.

        I HOPE THIS HELPS MAY SOMEBODY CAN ADD OR CORRECT MY UNDERSTANDING

        STAND YOU GROUND!

        Like

      • Tick-toc says:

        You sound very sincere. You could be on my team. Ministers need loving people like you. Nothing is impossible! But at this stage of his life it is highly improbable. But only God knows.

        “J” has been a truck driver for many years. He did what he needed to do. You see…ordination from a financial view means other things. It knocks out ..maybe someone younger who can give longer service. Career wise he is a diminishing worker where father time has slowed his clock down to a tick-toc. And soon the alarm of retirement will play a ring tone of Willie Nelson’s song on TIme.

        “J” toyed with programs of the SWRC that were bridges to know where so the SWRC could save money. In other words…from my view…USED. Hence, if there is a gripe it is with past Presidents.

        With that said the current President is a fair and just man. Perhaps SG will hold back the hands of time.

        By the way why didn’t the last President make room for him? The elder played the Former President’s hand for years.

        Please reply…

        Like

  8. Back Field In Motion says:

    FRANK’S ACME CHEESE COMPANY: EPISODE II
    “The Success of Frank’s New Jack Organic Cheese”
    (A continuation from Frank’s ACME Cheese Company Episode I)

    Frank’s Rise to Corporate Power

    Narrator: After Frank launched his ACME Cheese Company, the wheels started turning fast toward realizing his “third hell” vision. You see, it wasn’t too long that the newly conceived business venture caught hold, and the pigeons started getting hooked on his New Jack Organic Cheese. The Pack sold so much cheese in a few months that cheese addiction clinics had to be set up for pigeon rehabilitation.

    Soon “Cheese Houses” were found all over pigeon land where addicted pigeons could go and get a bite of New Jack Organic Cheese to maintain their habit. Every day, Frank upped the cost of a bite of his New Jack Organic Cheese. And every day the underground boss saw his ACME CHEESE COMPANY become an overnight success. Yes, Frank’s “flesh and blood” visionary experience became a working reality. They even came up with a jingle that instantly became a musical overnight sensation. The Packs line went like this: “No one else knows cheese like us.”

    Once the pigeons took a bite of that cheese they would do anything to experience another cheese high. Unfortunately, they could never repeat that first pleasure experience from their first bite. Just one bite of Frank’s New Jack Organic Cheese would start a poor soul down the stairs into the “third hell.” They sought to experience Frank’s visionary revelation. And in their trying they would give Frank all the chicken he wanted.

    They even sold their feathers for a bite of cheese. They lied, cheated, and stole for just another mouth soaking moment. The great sunset strip where the pigeons enjoyed the rays of life became New Jack Skid Row. On that once, upon a time great strip helpless pigeons gave up their souls for an ounce of New Jack Organic Cheese.

    Dino frequently went through the pigeon neighborhoods on a mega phone blasting out these words, “Buy my cheese and give me your chicken.” Instead of the pigeons being pigeons the New Jack Organic Cheese side effect twisted their personality where they anatomically started chicken transformation. They looked like pigeons but they acted like chickens. It was just what Frank’s “flesh and blood” revelation from the third hell revealed. And nobody could do anything about it. Not even the “big headquarters.”

    At community town hall meetings, concerned residents spoke out about the effects of pigeon cheese addiction. They became appalled at Brother fighting brother, sisters pulling each other’s hair, neighbors drawing lines in the sand, and places of worship becoming places for hellish acts as well as bombed out holes-in-the-walls. And where were the preachers? Because they bought the cheese too they could only preach cheese sermons. Members referred to them as “Cheese heads.”

    Instead of preaching the “Second Coming” they preached the “Wonder of Cheese.” They replaced the “Three Angels Message” with the message of the “Three Unclean Frog’s.” The mission to save the world became hidden in darkness and hope seemed to fade.

    What else could the Pack invent? The Pack put New Jack Organic Cheese in everything from cheese gum to mixed cheese drinks. They even came up with cheese coffee, New Jack Cheese burgers, cheese gumbo and can you believe this, New Jack Organic Cheese Vegetarian Burgers. Who could have thought of vegetarian burgers?

    Lady pigeons carried New Jack Organic Cheese in their purses. The Pack branded each new creation with the slogan, “It’s the real thing.” The Pack missed no turn in developing their new ACME Cheese Company.

    Some cheese junkies chose to sniff their cheese and others smoked it in a pipe. They even found a way to “cut the cheese” so they could melt it down and shoot up in a vein. Eventually, alleys became the awful scenes of overdosed cheese junkies as they gave their souls for a bite of New Jack Organic Cheese.

    They say the addiction was so great that the minds of the pigeons became “possessed” with an “image” of the Pack. Their scheme worked. Anyone or living thing became like them. And just like Frank predicted they had the pigeons eating out of their fingers. The Pack’s campaign motto to take over the big headquarter was, “Vote for me and I’ll set you free.”

    And like always, Frank was the mastermind, Dino had his territory—and Jerry? Well, this is where the story gets very interesting. Remember, the Packs ultimate scheme to take over the big headquarters? Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Frank’s cheese factory. YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO MET FRANK THERE FOR A NEW JACK ORGANIC CHEESE HIT.

    Stay tuned . . . by the way . . . I’m Left Behind

    *FRANK’S ACHME CHEESE COMPANY is a satire published by the writer of Left Behind, and is not intended maliciously. All names and situations in this story are satirized. All names are a fictional depiction. Any attempt to read anything further into these fictional stories is the readers own self identification and characterization.

    Like

  9. Anonymous says:

    who is going to help me bring back the sheaves?we had a sweet little following!The falcon left atlanta and would be here in dallas had it not been for this blog oh well.my work here is finished now i must head on back to dallas or thereabouts.until next time

    Like

  10. Anonymous says:

    by the way how is frank and dino?they are too quiet!maybe he plans to be president again???????????for the first time!!!

    Like

  11. Anonymous says:

    i miss u guys come on back before probation closes!

    Like

  12. Anonymous says:

    What happen to you guys? Nothing more to say?

    Like

  13. Anonymous says:

    Now we are making true progress!All we need now is for the Lord to come!

    Like

    • CRYSTAL CLEAR says:

      We are all for seeing Jesus coming Anonymous–but what about our roles! Your opinion one way or the other would give some thought on how we should work together for the good of every one toward seeing Him before He calls for the greatest air lift rescue the universe will ever know. When Jesus comes it might be too late for some who are still in the game of winning for themselves only.

      WE WILL ALL MISS ELDER W. C.

      I would like to read your opinion…AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION.

      Like

  14. Back Field In Motion says:

    WHY POLITICS AGAIN? CAN WE ESCAPE IT?

    What really gets me is how many people seem to think that the church operates without politics. So get real reader and remember that politics is very much a part of the way things get done, who is hired and fired, and where men and women are placed.

    Some good examples of political gaming might be the issue of ordination for women which seem to be a political problem the Church as a whole faces. Or someone chosen to speak at a major function for the Conference administrators might be a scheme to influence you toward their ideology in the game of politics.

    Another example to consider could be experienced on the local church level where some members don’t like their pastor and may decide to influence Conference administration to get rid of him or her. This is participatory politics sometimes behind closed doors.

    We could site cooking the treasury report as political too. The departmental reports given to portray a positive achievement in a given term are sometimes the pieces of a larger political puzzle to achieve a desired outcome. A keynote speaker chosen to address the constituents could be a device politically on the administration’s part and the speaker. Is the above all bad?

    Consider this for a moment. Any time some climbing Frat Brother of a preacher says “I don’t do politics” is not of this earth and is out of his or her deluded mind when it comes to reality. Remember, one aspect of politics declares that a person or persons are “out to win something.” That’s what makes some educated but ignorant workers seem obtuse. They view politics as all bad when in fact they used politics by their very statement. Those who take such a rigid view want to portray an image that they are honest, and good and humbly spiritual. The Frat Brothers don’t realize that they are as political as any other person running to win something.

    The biggest failure of some of our climbing young ministers that was pictured as political in the last session was when they said “nothing” and did “nothing” to save the former president whom they claimed they supported. That’s called “chicken for cheese”. (Man I like that story) Not only were they afraid of who might be the new boss, they didn’t want to reveal their position. A political decision!

    THAT ATTITUDE WAS A DELIBERATE, POLITICAL, DO NOTHING STAND FRAT BROTHERS! YOU DIDN’T STAND BY YOUR MAN! YOU NEVER FOUGHT FOR HIM ON THE FLOOR! THAT WAS COWARDICE! YOU WERE AFRAID TO GO DOWN WITH HIM. AND HE WALKED ON THE SENIOR MINISTER’S HEADS FOR YOU TO BE WHERE YOU ARE NOW!

    It follows that yes, presidents have moved men for their political gain. Ministers are plotting right now for the next election, and those who are in power are planning to stay. Yes whether you like it or not its politics. How much of this is sinful and hell full? Well…

    Here’s my question…is there a road less traveled that we can take?

    God wants us to grow and love each other. The present means through which we do the business of the Lord is tainted with power and selfishness and should be reformed. It divides us!

    The weaknesses of men and women who come to power are known by God. And He sees their deceitfulness. The political game with the kings of Israel is very evident in the Old Testament. Through our spiritual lens we see how God wants us to grow and love each other. The lesson we need to learn from the Bible is that God judges leaders too. Their stewardship is accountable. Injustice will be made right!

    In conclusion, the present means through which we do the business of the Lord is tainted with power and selfishness and should be reformed. As played out in one of the Large Committees before the session, the stupid notion of drawing a line in the sand where you separate large churches and small churches to be against each other, so a few could control was not a good idea. It was Louisiana politics at its best. AND THE WATCH DOGS APPROVED THAT MESSAGE!

    So please, give me a break!

    Like

    • Sister-girl says:

      I learn more and more everytime I read this blog. Whether readers recognize it or not, I believe the contributions by bloggers and readers lend a fairly accurate description to the operation of this church and probably many church organizations. Surely there is no lack of belief that most organizations are political. That just goes with the territory. To those members and ministers and workers who say “Oh, I just don’t get involved in politics” I hope you can just laugh at yourself, because when I hear someone say that, I know already not to trust them. Thank you for more enlightenment Backfield.

      Like

      • CRYSTAL CLEAR says:

        Sister Girl/Back Field In Motion

        I have heard two ministers down yonder in Southern Louisiana state that they don’t have nothing to do with politics. One in the Liberal town of Austin. Another Frat Brother in Houston as well as some scattered here and there. Yet their quest for something better than what they have contradicts their statement and renders it false. They think they by making such a denial means that they are more Christian than someone else who does. Like getting out to vote and getting people to the polls to vote for Obama. The freedom that we share and civil rights we have gained all resulted from politics. To think and express such notion would place the deluded in the class of the asinine. I wonder where they get their pietism from?

        The present “elected” President is in office by means of politics. If you voted at the session or in any meeting you engaged in politics. If you had a preference as to who the ministerial person should be you participated in polilics.

        To say that you don’t participate in politics would mean that you are the most stupid out of touch ignoramus on the face of this earth. And yes DO NOT TRUST THEM!

        Like

  15. Back Field In Motion says:

    WHY POLITICS AGAIN? CAN WE ESCAPE IT?

    What really gets me is how many people seem to think that the church operates without politics. So get real reader and remember that politics is very much a part of the way things get done, who is hired and fired, and where men and women are placed. Examples of political gaming might be the issue of ordination for women which seem to be a political problem the Church faces. Or someone chosen to speak at a major function for the Conference administrators might be seen as engaging in the game of politics.

    In the local church some members don’t like their pastor and may decide to influence some and administration to get rid of him or her. This is participatory politics. And cooking the treasury report is political too. The departmental reports given to portray a positive achievement in a given term are sometimes the pieces of a political puzzle to achieve a desired outcome. A keynote speaker chosen to address the constituents might be political on the administration’s part and the speaker. Is this all bad?

    Any time some climbing Frat Brother of a preacher says “I don’t do politics” is not of this earth and is out of his or her deluded mind when it comes to reality. Remember, one aspect of politics declares that a person or persons are “out to win something.” That’s what makes some educated but ignorant workers seem obtuse.

    The biggest failure of some of our climbing young ministers that was political in the last session was when they said “nothing” and did “nothing” to save the former president whom they claimed they supported. That’s called “chicken for cheese”. (Man I like that story)

    THAT’S WAS A DELIBERATE, POLITICAL, DO NOTHING STAND FRAT BROTHERS! YOU DIDN’T STAND BY YOUR MAN! YOU NEVER FOUGHT FOR HIM ON THE FLOOR! THAT WAS COWARDICE! AND HE WALKED ON THE SENIOR MINISTER’S HEADS FOR YOU TO BE WHERE YOU ARE NOW!

    Yes, presidents have moved men for their political gain. Ministers are plotting right now for the next election, and those who are in power are planning to stay. Yes whether you like it or not its politics. How much of this is sinful and hellful?

    Here’s my question…is there a road less traveled that we can take?

    Yes, God permits! What really gets me is how many people seem to think that the church operates without politics. So get real and remember that politics is very much a part of the way things get done, who is hired and fired, and where men and women are placed. For instance the issue of ordination for women is political. When someone is chosen to speak at a major function for the conference maybe viewed as political.

    In the local church some members don’t like their pastor and may decide to influence some and administration to get rid of him or her. This is participatory politics. And cooking the books is political too. The departmental reports given during a major meeting, to portray a positive achievement in a given term is playing politics.

    Any time some climbing Frat Brother of a preacher says “I don’t do politics” is not of this earth and is out of his or her deluded mind when it comes to reality. Remember, one aspect of politics declares that a person or persons are “out to win something.” That’s what makes some educated but ignorant workers seem obtuse.

    The biggest failure of some of our climbing young minister that was political in the last session was when they said “nothing” and did “nothing” to save the former president whom they claimed they supported. That’s called chicken for cheese.

    THAT’S A DELIBERATE POLICAL, DO NOTHING STAND FRAT BROTHERS! YOU DIDN’T STAND BY YOUR MAN! YOU NEVER FOUGHT FOR HIM ON THE FLOOR! THAT WAS COWARDICE! AND HE WALKED ON THE SENIOR MINISTER’S HEADS FOR YOU!

    Yes, presidents have moved men for their political gain. Ministers are plotting right now for the next election, and those who are in power are planning to stay. Yes whether you like it or not its politics.

    Here’s my question…is there a road less traveled that we can take?

    Yes, God permits, and compensates for the weaknesses of men and women when they come to power. HE DOES NOT EXCUSE THEIR MISBEHAVIOR! Therefore He knows and sees the deceitfulness of those who are lords over us. The political game with the kings of Israel is very evident in the Old Testament concerning their failures.

    God wants us to grow and love each other. The present means through which we do the business of the Lord is tainted with power and selfishness and should be reformed.

    So please, give me a break! the weaknesses of men and women for leaders to come to power. And He understands our deceitfulness; the political game with the kings of Israel is very evident in the Old Testament. He wants us to grow and love each other. The lesson we need to learn from the bible is that God judges leaders too. Their stewardship is accountable. Injustice will be made right!

    The present means through which we do the business of the Lord is tainted with power and selfishness and should be reformed.

    So please, give me a break!

    Like

  16. Anonymous says:

    After viewing the comments and interacting with some of the people involved, I am led to ask”What are we really afraid of?”the fact remains that there are some sorry senior pastors out here and there are some who are not sorry!Some are crying the blues and they haven’t been hurt yet!If we do the right thing ultimately God will come to our defense and if He doesn’t, I don’t want anyone else defending me because the debt i owe them may be more than the favor!At any rate I do not support grown men running around like little crybabies because someone has offended them or hurt their feelings!Man up and be a man!Show some intestinal fortitude and some prayer and faith in God!Most of us would never last during the proverbial “time of trouble” if we are running around like scared little chickens now!

    Like

    • ANONYMOUS says:

      Anonymous:

      Thank you for your opinion. And yes we all need some gut feeling fortitude. Yet, what remains with those I have talked to especially the young, they seem to be tired of the “same thing.”

      I believe that you are right that there are some who will not “man up” which may include some sorry and not sorry men and women. The question still remains, “how do we deal with a system wherein at the end of the day it is all about how we interpret adventist politics. Your comment helps us to process our ideas and hopefully come to an understanding that will be good for Christ first.

      Some men and women do have something to cry about. It is a part of human nature. Jesus wept, which was an emotional response to the lack of faith and hatred of those who were at the tomb.

      Injustice is evil! And we are suppose to do something when it has a Knee jerk reaction.

      During the time of trouble, let’s make sure we don’t go for the cheese. The cheesers are going to sell out their brother and sister.

      Thank you for a well written response for me to chew on.

      Like

    • ANONYMOUS says:

      Anonymous!

      I’m from a “long distant” way. I’ve been following this blog and have read your recent comment. But I am puzzled at what you exactly mean.

      For example, what do you mean by man up? From your point of view, what constitutes being a man or woman? Most people from the outside know that your conference is refered to as the “Farm Team.” Which means that your field is a minor league club for ministers. Don’t laugh! Look outside and you will see what I mean. Those who left are getting where they want to be–at least some. the one’s who stayed are left behind some by their own cowardice.

      The infamous Left Behind I have to admit has hit the bull’s eye. I know the guys he’s echoing in terms of their politics. They are misusing the system. The pseudopigrapher and those responses that have followed seem to be hitting the target. The problem with those this writer may have blown the whistle on are presently in a state of guilt. Any honest member or worker knows that what he has said is true. That’s why they want to silence the blog.

      By the way do you know that there are people in other fields that want to do something like theforgottenshepherdes has developed over the last year? Many! There are even some who are copy cats of the satire.

      By the way that was a bad decision your committee made concerning the blog. It does not compute!

      And those stories are hliarious?

      I hope to hear from you Anonymous.

      Like

  17. ANONYMOUS says:

    THE TRUTH THAT WON’T BE TOLD

    On their website you will find a condemnation statement by the SWRC back in May of 2011. What bothers me is why the former president or anyone would vote a disclaimer to be read to all the members in the SWRGC when in fact there are many organizations that use the word “shepherdess”.

    It seems contradictory that the SWRGC EXCOM allowed an offended pastor to request a statement to be entered into legal minutes in addition to a policy on internet behavior of employees-when this blog never attacked the Local Conference or the Church as a whole. It has always been an “opinion” forum for members and ministers to express their viewpoints for discussion.

    Investigation reveals that the former President ranted for almost an hour addressing the blog and entertaining defaming hyperbole.

    Can someone give me some answers?

    …And that the offended has made characterization of others, and has openly engaged in politics and is a person of interest when it comes down to the direction of the Conference and his use of politics. To me the stories that I have analyzed depict a behavior about politics that “is” and “was” then out of control. Where is the reform concerning the election process? I say “is” because political jockeying still exists now.

    The good intentions of this blog have been defamed and misjudged. And those who deliberately did so—did not issue any retractions.

    Some attempted to damage the blog through the disclaimer so that members would not become involved by this negative tactic. It did not work.

    As for the offended, the Conference entered into a personal affair of individuals who placed themselves into the stories and told everyone “I’m this person.”

    If you search under theforgottenshepherdess you will hit many sites that use the name “shepherdess”. No false statements toward the person mentioned in the minutes were assailed and proven to be factual.

    And there was, nor, currently have been any misconduct by any employee that participated in the blog, since all comments and articles were the opinions expressed by the contributors.

    It appears that some individuals who wanted to start such a forum decided that they couldn’t control this blog so they would destroy it by using their influence Committee influence.

    Please review the following sources:

    April 17, 2011:

    • Voted to approve the Katy Spanish Company become an official church of the Conference.

    • Voted to approve the Houston La Esperanza Spanish Company become an official church of the Conference.

    • Voted to approve the name change of the Waco Faith and Happiness Company to the Waco Renacer Company.

    • Voted to replace Guillermo Zenner with Wilmore Green, as a member of the 2011 Nominating Committee. Only Conference employees can serve on the Nominating Committee.

    • Reviewed the Constitution and Bylaws Recommendations to be presented at the 2011 Constituency Session.

    • Strategic Planning Committee Chair presented info on the distribution of strategic plan to the field.

    • RELATIVE TO THE FORGOTTEN SHEPHERDESS BLOG

    • Voted to place a disclaimer on the Conference website, to be drafted in counsel with Adventist Risk Management.

    o THEY DO NOT MENTION ANY NAME OR BLOG. THEREFORE THIS WOULD BE USELESS. THEY DID MENTION BY NAME THIS BLOG.

    • Voted to formulate a policy regarding the proper behavior of an employee relative to Internet conduct via social media sites and other online activies such as blogs, to be placed in the Employee Handbook.

    o FOR WHAT REASONS? WHEN NO ONE HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BE GUILTY OF INTERNET CONDUCT.

    • Voted to accept the disclaimer presented from the Sheperdess Club leader, to be placed in the Conference files and attached to the meeting’s minutes.

    o A DISCLAIMER FOR WHAT REASONS? WHEN SHEPHERDESS IS USED GENERICALLY IN MANY PLACES.

    • Voted to accept Elder Durandel Ford’s statement to address false statements perpetuated in the blog, to be placed in the files, and attached to the meeting’s minutes.

    o WHAT FALSE STATEMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN INDENTIFIES OR PROVEN TO BE FALSE?
    o ARE THERE ANY OTHER MINISTERS OR EMPLOYEES AND MEMBER USING ANY SOCIAL WEBSITES EXPRESSING OPINIONS? THOUSANDS!
    o
    (Not responsible for all the incorrect grammar in the minutes above)

    Like

  18. Mems says:

    Do you think Left Behind is a kook?

    Not by any means…

    In our field of labor the ministers in our field are “chicken” and have been bought and sold politcally and deceived by certain self proclaimed ministers who are “cheesers”. Those of you who are employed may never obtain the opportunity to be all that you can be when in fact the “cheesers think they are the only ones who are the best of the best and most talented. Men and women who move “up” the ladder of so called corporate denominational success are made by other administrators who have bought into their (climbing ministers) psychology of “cheese”. Sometimes, the good get “left behind”.

    Unfortunately, too many local members have bought their cheese philosophy and are persuaded by what these men say. If enough men and women said enough is enough you would see a real difference. BUT THEY ARE CHICKEN!

    For the sake of our understanding, constituency meeting is nothing more than a “cheese theater”. The best Cheeser most likely will get the prize. Fortunately, the constituents didn’t buy into the Ratpack’s cheese in the last showdown. And it was a showdown! So we can say the current president is not a “cheeser” or chicken…yet…and I hope never…even if he doesn’t get reelected. STAND FOR PRINCIPLE AND RIGHT AND THE WORD OF GOD!

    Thank Left Behind for your enlightening satire.

    Like

    • ANONYMOUS says:

      MEMS,,,

      Shortly before the reorganization in 1901 Ellen G. White had written…

      “that “it has been presented to me that every department of the work is to be united
      in one great whole. The work of God is to prepare a people to stand
      before the Son of Man at His coming, and this work should be a unit.
      The work that is to fit a people to stand firm in the last great day
      must not be a divided work.”

      Opposing the centralization of power in a few individuals, she left no
      doubt that…

      “kingly, ruling power” and any administrator who had a
      “little throne” would have to go.

      COULD IT BE TRUE THAT OUR LEADERS MAY BE GUILTY OF KINGLY, RULING POWER WITH A LITTLE THRONE?

      The seer advocated that any such person should go. Why? Because their interest is no longer about the taking our message to the world so Jesus can come. IT’S ABOUT THEM!

      Like

  19. dolomite9 says:

    please do not be alarmed or afraid but …..the dobermans are coming!!!!!!!!Who let the dogs out?

    Like

  20. THE X FACTOR says:

    FOR OUR LEADERS AND ADMINISTRATORS:

    Proverbs of Justice and Love

    1. Every person, no matter how horrible, is a child of God and is therefore loved.

    2. The causes of evil are pain, lust, and fear.

    3. Since evil is both caused by pain and causes pain, it is self-perpetuating.

    4. Thus one way to diminish evil is to answer pain with love and understanding.

    5. Violence may be necessary in self-defense or in pursuit of justice, but violence in pursuit of vengeance is evil.

    6. People have an innate sense of justice, just as they have of symmetry or balance. Even infants know when a punishment is just. Parents can tell from the sound of the cry.

    7. Without justice there can be no rules. Without just rules there is anarchy, in which everyone’s survival is threatened. Thus just rules and equitable enforcement are the primary responsibilities of the State.

    8. Without justice the weak are defenseless. Without mercy justice is a robot that knows not what it does.

    9. Justice diminishes evil by diminishing fear. Love diminishes evil by diminishing pain and lust.

    10. Failure to discipline a child who does wrong teaches weakness. Discipline in anger teaches evil. Discipline out of justice teaches order. Discipline with love teaches goodness.

    By William Byrd. Performed by John Sankey.

    Like

  21. THE X FACTOR says:

    THE X FACTOR:

    Now that we know exactly what alien form Mr. X assumes, we also know that Mr. X arrives with a cloud of mysterious rumor from the “outer limits.”

    X, branded as a thinker and innovative leader, reveals that we have entered a period known as the X Factor. His mission is unknown and life form uncertain to us.

    Mr. X, an alien from the unknown, now occupies “a life form” that can decide the fate of the many and few, and transport you-yes you into the outer limits. It is rumored that X can read minds, has intelligence beyond his earthly terrestrials, and is a master strategist that can take the persuaded into an unknown dimension of another kind.

    But what dimension? The dimension of uncertainty!

    Can you answer the question that X should answer: WHAT HAS X REALLY DONE ON THE PLANET HE LEFT?

    Beware of Mr. X. and the powerful “space dust” he carries.

    Are SOME OF YOU really hit with X’s spaced dust?

    Like

  22. CRYSTAL CLEAR says:

    dolemite9 And CRYSTAL CLEAR:

    All DIRTY TRICKS are of the devil.

    Does the local administration have any in their game play book? Yes, of course.

    I have to admit that I have learned that jealousy may be a sin or not from two ends. You say how? Unjust acts and appointments of positions of people who have not earned a promotion energize jealousy in workers hearts. And to the one who is jealous—jealousy becomes sinful when it occupies the mind to the point of harm to one’s self and others. Consequently, administration can be guilty too who are under God’s justice.

    I say when you earn something you can appreciate it. When something is handed to you, YOU might not take care of it.

    In the present generation some have not learned the lesson of earning anything unless they have a military experience or are forced. Some of our young pastors need to be in a “boot camp” that is court ordered.

    CHEW ON THIS

    Like

  23. dolomite9 says:

    CRYSTAL CLEAR & FAITHFUL,I couldn’t have said it any better!Run little chillun run de debil done loosed in the land!

    Like

  24. CRYSTAL CLEAR says:

    THE MOST DIFFICULT THING TO HANDLE…

    …is when you enter the world of “dirty politics”, assassinate your perceived enemies and then you suddenly realize that you have become the bull’s eye….

    Don’t point fingers at someone as if he/she is the cause when he or she is the effect. Politics in the conference is worse than it is in the world. At least, in the world we know that it is dirty but in the conference it is shaded with a velour disguise of Christianity.

    Before you talk negatively about someone, paint a degusting picture of someone, sum their ministry up as nothing and sit in positions of authority where you can hurt someone for your own gain–just remember that the bull’s eye can be on you.

    If you are in the game and can’t take criticism negatively or positively—then don’t enter it.

    IT’S CALLED THE GAME OF POLITICS—AND THOSE WHO ENTER THE GAME ARE OUT TO WIN SOMETHING!

    Like

  25. dolomite9 says:

    What’s in a name?Would you rather eat dog food or cheese?Will the senior men have a better life under a new administration? Who will the new president listen to?

    what will happen to the rat pack now?
    what are the frat brothers cooking up?

    Like

    • A FAITHFUL DEDICATED VIEWER says:

      dolomite9:

      The Ratpack are in business until they get what they want and the frat brothers are their alliance. The president may end up in a political stalemate. This means that the senior men are chicken–and most people know that preachers love chicken.

      The future of many men is in the hands of the president and the excom with shears…and you know what that means…some bad news is ahead. You might end up a eunuch.

      You preachers did it to yourselves.

      Like

  26. dolomite9 says:

    ministerial!!

    Like

  27. dolomite9 says:

    Just when you think you have heard it all!What schemes will the new misterial man come up with?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  28. Sister-Girl says:

    I forgot to type in my code name, Sister-girl. The second comment is mine.

    Like

  29. Anonymous says:

    Well, as I stated recently, I have been in this Conference for a very long time and I am still trying to analyze these stories. It’s not that easy, because I am not totally in the inner circle of these workers, but I am a faithful layworker who has been around for years and have seen preachers and leaders come and go. Based on what Left Behind is saying the Cheese for Chicken program probably started with Elder Jones. As I have been thinking back, to my best knowledge, with the exception of Elder Lister, I believe every President since Elder Jones has only had 10 years or less who has assumed, the office of the President and I am not counting that you managed a church while in the conference office. I am just talking about Preachers who have been totally out there on the beat. You really understand the plight of a minister when you have been out there on the battlefield and expeienced all phases of this work. In most professional fields of service this is about 15-20 years, although 10 years is possible, if you are an exceptional Pastor and I don’t consider our past Presidents, exceptional Pastors.

    The deal is, in my opinion, the Preachers have not had and still do not have a path of promotion and evaluation based on merit, rather it has been you help me get in and I will reward you with chicken when I get in or same thing, help me stay in. In other words when you are in power, you select someone not for their merit but to continue the path of power and the ministers who have participated have politically maneuvered their way by any means necessary and I think that is what Left Behind means by ” Cheese for Chicken” and most of this started in my opinion by Elder Jones. For those of you who work regular jobs like me, you know this is not going to fly and you should see why Left behind might be a little on the bitter side.

    Also, I do understand why the ministers are afraid to comment, They might not get fired, but they will probably face some vindictive action. That has happened just about at every election. I know about it and plenty of lay people know how this works and participate too. So, if we just ask ourselves a question, this is not only not fair, but is it christian? I would like to hear from some of you ministers regarding this. Is my analysis on the right track? Remember, you can comment, no one will no your identity, the blog was set up for this. When you comment, it helps us to understand the situation. And I for one hate to think of our church as not being fair! Freedom of speech is protected by our constitution and that is not going to change, no matter what. I am not trying to be offensive, but at the present I know only one Minister who comments, uses his name and is not CHICKEN! How shameful, God’s annointed can not speak out, because they just don’t know who they can trust. I know who they can’t trust, their ADMINISTRATORS!

    Like

    • A SENIOR FELLOW WORKER says:

      I am a minister…

      and sister girl is right in her analysis. By now they are still trying to shoot a person who may be trying to create some dialogue so that some administrators might listen. I suppose too many of us are “CHICKEN” and many of us are afraid to stand up and express an opinion one way or the other.

      The real truth that I see is that one day many of the younger ministers will become senior preachers and will reach a status of being under appreciated if we stay the course of the past. Man, life can be a…..big disappointment.

      To me it is discouraging to see the same kind of “games” played out compared to 20 or 30 years ago yet are the same. I hope someone in administration is reading to “understand” and hopefully will not kill a good person or persons. Or can they do the right thing?

      I know the writer is not being hateful or revengeful but seems to reveal a negative social and human condition that lingers over much of our work. It seems that some might judge for the sake of prematurely judging before they have judged and searched out their opinions. Nor do I think it to be jealousy–but rather a reckoning!

      Before you dismiss this cartoon, consider the cartoonish characterizations that others have used in many meeting, seminars and other gatherings that made an association of someone negatively or positively. Or the off colored remarks that we have all heard at the campground, or other places. What about how someone is characterized in meetings that decides the fate of a minister? Are there not cartoonish conversations that have resulted in a move that was indeed worse than anything on this blog? Believe me I have heard these conversations and have seen the assassinations of good men that have brought their careers to an abrupt end.

      What I think needs to be looked at is “how do we “do right thing–the Christian right thing.” And how would I want to be treated by my brother or sister? Or are we all locked and loaded ready to draw our pistols from out holsters and shoot at first sight.

      Thanks…Sister Girl

      Like

  30. ANONYMOUS says:

    Dear Left Behind:

    Your depiction of the political landscape in our territory is quite enlightening and funny. I hope people think much about the story behind the story.

    Wow! What a story. And it is right to point!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s