Left Behind is an anonymous contributor who originally posted comments in a discussion forum titled Are Pastors Recycled or Re-used? These fictitious stories became a sensation, describing the type of politics observed by others. I received several requests to move them to the top of the website a separate category. I did so as his stories received over 350 hits a day.
Certain leaders within the local conference of Southwest Region Conference of SDA were offended by these posts and allegedly entered certain items into record on April 16, 2011 at Exexcutive Committee Meeting, regarding these posts and the contents of this blog, see the post “If You Can’t Take the Heat Get out of the Kitchen.”
We have yet to see the minutes from that meeting. Upon the request of the author, Left Behind, in an Open Letter to The Forgotten Shepherdess, it was requested to remove these stories. I then asked Left Behind for permission to remove them from the top of the homepage screen so that viewers who wanted to read them could access them in a search bar. The stories below have been archived as searchable criteria for anyone who wants to read them. All stories and a Lost story have been published below.
Frank, Dino, and Jerry: Original Story
I have to admit that Craig has tied the knot on this one. THANKS! Let me clear the house for many of you who are following this by relating to you a fictitious novel concerning the political struggle for power in this field.First out, you have at least four players in the political contest created by this republican system.
First you have the Rat Pack, Frank, Dino, and Jerry. Now Frank is leading the opposition and pretending and hiding his involvement. Truthfully he’s running the show. Right now, Frank is marshalling his two generals Dino and Jerry. They have been doing this for years. Frank’s mad because the Prez cut the heart out of him when he took the responsibility of the campground from him. Frank craves power and authority and essentially, wants the top spot or some other area where he can feed his addiction.Now Dino, a chameleon whom you never know what color he will appear, will talk to the devil to figure out what color he should be to gain his own selfish interest. Frank uses him.
Frank knows he has the gift of changing colors and will sell his soul. “He’s this way and that way with a smile of deceit. What he doesn’t understand is the people’s resentment towards his deceit and self-centered mentality. Last of the rat pack is Jerry. He’s Frank’s hit man and will do anything to get the hits accomplish. Now what’s in it for them? Position and power and even some tainted Adventist recognition! And power certainly corrupts everything around it and all becomes evil. In the end the republican government looks on, and is thrilled with the rat pack. Because the main man would like one of his in, that might do his bidding and deal with the regional retirement. (Maybe?)
The third entity is the Bush Administration.The current Prez made the local conference a killing field for senior ministers. For me and others, he cut the heart out of good men and placed us in the trash bin. The laity is collecting the bones of dead men as souvenirs for their showcases while the Bush Administration looks on.
Last of all there is the Fraternity Brothers comprised of young pastors who are seeking position and power for recognition and fame. They are looking to be written into the annals of Adventist history as change agents. But they won’t be in the Southwest very long. Craving power and position that surely corrupts shows them the way toward their selfish desires all in the name of Christ. What they don’t realize is they will grow older too. They will eventually be on someone’s best list for hits. The Fraternity Brothers will end up in the trash bin if they continue to maintain and function within the republican system of deceit, failure, spiritual genocide, and cowardice. This system says, “You can’t move on unless you are a company person and validate the present system that will get you where you want to be. So yes, Sister Girl some ministers became the tools of evil. Cut throats!
Why am I angry? Let me be very clear, I’m one of those who are left behind.
What can we do?
“Lord God, step in and save all of us from ourselves!”
“Bad News From the Prez” by Left Behind
The pounding sounds of fists beating on the door of a suburban home disturb the crisp morning air. The sounds increase from desperate to urgent. Awakened by the sudden noise, the underworld “deal maker” puts on his slippers and bathrobe and hurry’s down stairs to respond quickly to the urgent pounding coming from the front door of his palatial flat.
Frank: Who is it?
Dino: (whining) Its Dino and Jerry. Open up the door boss, I’ve got some bad news…bad news boss…open up.
(The door slowly opens only for Frank to find the frozen expressions of Dino and Jerry’s faces.)
Frank: Come on down to my office in the basement. By the way did you guys look around to see if any pigeons are hanging around the windows and doors? Those guys are always spying around. Find me a Great Owl…they hate pigeons.
Dino: By the way Frank don’t Great Owls eat rats?
Frank: Ya, ya, ya…scratch that idea that could be bad news for us.
Dino: We didn’t see any…but boss sit down…I gotta tell you what’s going on.
Frank: Tell me Dino…tell me. This better be good or you’re gonna be hanging out back!
Dino: We were sniffing around the headquarters of the Southwest like you told us to do, and we heard the Prez and his Adviser talking. The Advisor brought some information to him. Frank, you know what they were doing? I heard the Prez say to his Advisor “Get on your cell phone and call Stinky at A-1 Pest Control to exterminate Frank, Dino and Jerry.” The Prez said to Stinky to “Round them up, their bones are mine.” What are we going to do Frank, what are we going to do? I don’t want the Prez to take my bones. (Crying)
Dino: Give me the order Frank. Give me the order Frank! I’ll hit them now before he takes our bones. Give me the order!
Frank: (Slap, slap) Jerry! We’re losing our composure. Get control of yourselves. You’re always thinking with your fingers instead of with your brains. So get control of yourselves.
Jerry: Ya! Ya! Frank you’re pretty smart.
Dino: That’s right…why didn’t I think of that? But I don’t know Frank the Prez took the bones and threw them in the trash bin like practicing for a basketball game. He hit the bin pretty good. (Crying) We’re trapped…Frank we’re headed for the trash bin. The pigeons are gonna collect our bones Frank.
Frank: don’t insult me again. When the time comes to give up our boned…let’s have some dignity about it. I have a plan. Remember this, Dino and Jerry the Prez can’t do anything to us as long as we control the pigeons. Focus! We gotta take control of the great Pigeon meeting coming up. If we do that, we have nothing to worry about. Do you get it! The Prez can’t out smart me. I’m always a step ahead of him. Hold on a minute…I gotta call Falcon first to see how he wants to handle this.
And remember, I’m LEFT BEHIND.
“The Great Takeover” by Left Behind
INTRODUCTION: Down in the dark basement of Frank’s home, the underworld boss puts forth an important phone call to anAtlantacelebrity called Falcon. Looking constantly left and right making sure no pigeons are hanging out at the windows listening, in reserved whispering tones, he speaks to Falcon.
FRANK: Falcon, I need to know if you are going to fly west to be our new Boss.
FALCON: Well Frank, right now I’m not sure. I’m in the jet set ofAtlanta, and I am invited to many pigeon gatherings. Plus I’m now on several television networks. Right now I am ruling the skies. For me its heaven down here! By the way Frank, what are the pigeons saying back there in the west?
FRANK: They love your show and they can’t wait for you to get here. They like the way you flap your wings on camera. Plus, they just love your falcon voice when they hear you speak to them. I have to say that the focus of those falcon eyes sends fear into resistant pigeons. Listen, Falcon we can make this happen. But there are some pigeons down here in the west I need to take care of. My two best generals are on it, and we believe that the head of the Bush administration won’t know what hit him. After Dino and Jerry take care of business, all you have to do is catch the next west wind in here and take over. Falcon, I need you to answer an all important question, WILL YOU COME?
FALCON: Frank, what’s in it for me?
FRANK: Falcon, just imagine, in four years you will rule the world of pigeons.
FALCON: Ok! Ok! Ok! Give me a day or two and I’ll give you an answer. What about the pigeon’s in charge?
Oh, by the way I’m LEFT BEHIND.
“Frank’s Cunning Gift and Dino’s Revelation” by Left Behind
INTRODUCTION: (After Frank hears the bad news from the Prez’s office, Frank sends Jerry on a hit to see what he can do about A-1 Pest Control. Frank tells Jerry to make Stinky a deal that he can’t refuse. With Dino, still whining in the basement office of Frank’s house, he suddenly realizes that he must help Dino cope with the stress of being exterminated by the Prez. So Frank retreats to his special quality of psychotherapy through hypnosis…)
FRANK: Dino…look into my eyes. Your eyes are getting heavy…heavier and heavier. They’re so heavy that you can’t keep your eyes open. You are now following asleep. Your sleep is deep now. CAN YOU HEAR ME DINO?
FRANK: Do you know who I am?
DINO: I think this is Jerry.
FRANK: No stupid this is Frank…Frank…Frank…
DINO: Yes, this is Frank. What do you want?
FRANK: How did you get to be Dino?
DINO: One night I was on my way to my house when a car almost ran over me. Without hesitation I jumped into a nearby bog that I later discovered was filled with radioactive waste. Delirious from the contaminants, I found myself being rescued by a Chameleon. He dragged me to safety by his tongue and took me into his house and nourished me back to good health. While I was recovering I noticed that my body and inner soul underwent genetic reengineering. Not long after this terrible accident I suddenly realized that I now possessed certain qualities of a Chameleon. I now had mobile and stereoscopic eyes, a highly modified and a rapidly extrudable tongue. I could change colors in seconds. Yet on the outside my body remained unchanged. I was still a Neotoma. The quality of color change gives me the ability to fit into any group through my new ability to social signal.
FRANK: Wow! Get-out-of-here!
(Thinking to himself, Frank has discovered how to use Dino for his own gain to possess the power he’s been wanting for years…use Dino’s reptilian qualities to persuade the pigeons)
FRANK: Dino…when I count to three and snap my fingers you will open your eyes, and not remember anything that I asked. In the future, anytime I snap my fingers you will do what I say.
DINO: Right boss. (yawning) Can I wake-up now boss?
FRANK: One, two, three…wake-up Dino, wake-up. (Whispering in Dino’s left ear)
DINO: Boss what happen? I feel like I went on a long journey somewhere. Did I fall asleep?
FRANK: No Dino…but I have something that I want you to do. Are there any pigeons outside the window…?
By the way, I’m “Left Behind”
A Strategy Meeting with the Prez: by Left Behind
INTRODUCTION: At Southwest Pigeon Headquarters, the central government for pigeons in the southwest, the Prez calls a meeting of two of his close Advisors. The meeting is one of great importance on what to do with Frank, Dino, and Jerry and there network of pigeons they have recruited for their great take over. The issues on the table are Stinky and His A-1 Exterminating Company and the future fate of Frank, Dino, and Jerry. Desperate for re-election the Prez leans forward with his right elbow on his knee, then clinches his fist and speaks with a heavy serious voice to his advisors…
PREZ: Have you heard from the Great Owl in BTOWN?
CONCILIARY: I talked to G-O and right now Prez, it ain’t looking good for the home team. You might want to consider, life after May. G-O is still mad about that retirement deal you worked out and said that his hands are up in the air. I took it to mean that you’re on your own.
PREZ: Conciliary you never bring any good news. Don’t forget, if I go, your head will roll too. Whose he got in mind to fill my spot anyway?
CONCILIARY: Do you still want my bad news? Two other Owls, G-O holds in his hip pocket and he plans to roll those dice if Frank, Dino and Jerry’s plan fall through the cracks.
PREZ: Okay, let’s get down to business. First item: Here’s what I want you to bust your tails on. I want you to get some pigeons who we will call the “Plumbers” to break into the Great Pigeon Headquarters and see if they can get information from G-O’s office so that we can be one up on those two owls. I want you to give the assignment to a pigeon by the name of Mike Tyson. He hates owls. This is a covert operation and it is top secret.
CONCILIARY: I must advise that what you’re talking about is illegal.
PREZ: Don’t worry about that we’re not criminals. It was a revelation from above. Next item: I want Stinky to exterminate the Ratpack. What we will do is catch that Ratpack right here at the office and then I’ll give”em the last words. We can say the Great Owl in BTOWN ordered the hit. Stinky has a special pesticide that will make them vanish and that way no one will know where they are. This way Frank won’t be able to sing his song, “My Way.”
Last item: I need Condi to cook the books. Are you in with us on this one Condi? I want the books to smell like sweet potatoes when we get to the big pigeon meeting. That way they will think they are eating sweet potatoes instead of numbers. And you know our pigeons love sweet potatoes.
Condi: Yes sir Prez in fact they’re cooking as we speak. Can you smell the grease? Are Yams alright instead of Sweet Potatoes?
Prez: Stop joking around Condi! Your head could roll with ours. And no…I said sweet potatoes. Can you understand that, Condi?
You’ve got two weeks to make this happen. Then at the great pigeon meeting we will be in control. You are all dismissed.
CONCILIARY: Hey…wait a minute! What are we gonna do with the Falcon?
PREZ: I’ve got a secret weapon for him and its right here in the closet. Are there any pigeons around?
By the way, I’m Left Behind